Big Congressman versus Michelle Obama's Big Ass: What does booty mean to you?

Before I even start, let me just say that I'm not mad at Wisconsin Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner for his dumb comment that he apologized for being caught saying, because I know better and it's not like this is probably the first thing he's ever said on the sly about President Obama and his family.  I know better than that.  I'm not mad at white people for not liking big butts, either.  Hey, to each his own.  What I'm irate about is the credit.  What the fuck, this is a big ass to you??

That's a big ass to you.  That is a big ass to you.  What about this one:

 
                                            Pippa Middleton gained international fame for it.


Pippa Middleton.  Pippa Middleton is your idea of a nice ass.  Pippa Middleton, made legendary status in the U.S. for what too many people consider an ass.  Sensenbrenner, white people, that's not an ass.  That's barely a fanny.  

                                                               Can fit two Pippas in it.

  That's what you would call an ass.  I don't know how other people measure shit, but if Michelle Obama's what Sensenbrenner considers big, that's pretty weak.  But like I said, ridiculous as it sounds, I'm not here to judge.  I'm here to educate a little bit.  Let's begin by acknowledging that people's bodies simply aren't the same.  There are more people that exist outside the popular view that's printed in magazines or appears on T.V.  Big ass is one of them.  And though this approach may be a bit crude, the ass implies so much more than just something to put you bike in. 

Lesson One:

You cannot put the body standards you grew up with on everyone.  

Frankly, you shouldn't be putting them on anyone.  With this statement, admittedly I'm assuming some things.  For one, I'm assuming that Congressman Sensenbrenner didn't grow up around a lot of black women.  Shot in the dark, I know.  Having a fat ass when you're white usually equates to being a fat ass, which would explain why her having a 'larger posterior' would be so perplexing.  He assumed, as all fat people do, that anyone that's at all sizable in a few locations is not the big health nut they claim to be, and like a fat person, he called bullshit.  What he doesn't realize, which I'll attribute to his little fat white bubble, is that that's not fat.  That's something called social programming. 

 Pancakes anyone?

 Don't let that waist fool you.  I'm sure all she eats is chicken and giblets all day long.

The point I'm trying to make with that comparison is that both women take care of their bodies.  Their anatomy is a bit different, their proportions are a bit different, it has nothing to do with what they eat or whatever stupid shit you can think of.

Lesson Two:

Getting your idea of beauty from celebrities and models is a bad idea.


It's understandable, but also detrimental. The point is, what we see through the media more than anything shapes our self-image and what we see as attractive.  So, what do you do when you don't like what you look like, or see something in someone that might look better?  Well, if you have the power, perpetuate your image anywhere and everywhere.  Movies, television, fashion, magazines, until anything different looks weird.  And not only will they look weird to everyone else, but they'll think they're weird, too.  If that goes over your head, think about Majin Buu from DragonBall Z, who came off as a moron to the average viewer, but reading into his behavior, you'll find some pretty profound social commentary.  For example, this fat pink alien is cruising the city, looking for what else--booty.  He comes across this girl walking and reading a magazine, he tries to spit game and get a kiss.  Of course, he's the alien who's been 'accidentally' terrorizing the entire Earth, so she falls back and drops the magazine, screaming.  So this dummy thinks its because he's ugly to her, so he picks up the magazine, and finds an ad with this handsome blonde-haired, green-eyed Country Club lookin' dude.  He scrambles his face up with his alien powers so he looks somewhat like the guy in the ad, but not really.  Now he's ready for that kiss.  Denied.  The girl runs away in a frenzy.  To this he scoffs, "you Earth women don't know what you want."

Sale on Birkenstocks today! How splendid!

Majin Buu went on to live peacefully with humans on Earth and never got any pussy.  The end.  Perpetuated beauty won't apply to everyone, so when something a little out of the ordinary is encountered, it's immediately cast into an peculiar light.


One of the things I can't stand living as an African American in the 21st century, is not that one type of beauty is perpetuated (white or light-skinned, ribs showing, long hair), it's the damage it does to young girls on both sides.  White people, if she has a big ass, leave her alone! That is a blessing!  For me, for the world in general, it's wonderful.  Most of the time I can't even notice a good weave, so I can't speak on it.  But European make-up on black skin that doesn't need it makes me sad.  It tells me that we as a race, and this generation, are beginning to believe it.  How couldn't we?  We've grown up on it and this image we have is all we've ever known?  We've lived in a world where...where Pippa Middleton's tiny lumps booty gets national acclaim.  AHHHHH!  If only it were a dream...