White people buy dog sweaters.
Niggas buy expensive ass J's.
First, of all, for any non-niggas reading this that don't know what I'm talking about yet, because you're, I don't know, civilized, I'll fill you in. Michael Jordan re-released one of his most legendary shoes, the Jordan XI Concords, last Friday at midnight. Now, before we go any further, let me break down that last sentence. Jordan hasn't made any new shoes lately, this shit people were killing and robbing and bitching over was a re-release. This was apparently a legendary shoe because they were the shoes he wore during his championship campaign in the 1995-1996 season.
Niggas in Texas:
This nigga licked his shoe. On camera! This is the type of shit that made Youtube the 21st century hit minstrel show. First of all, let's look at when these shoes first came out. 1995. That means he was wearing these when I was a little boy, and couldn't give a flying fuck about shoes because all of mine had straps and Power Rangers on them. That means, any little kids that were reportedly getting jumped over these shoes had no business wanting a pair of 1995 Jordans. The only way I could see them developing this ridiculous obsession is from this nigga-ass culture, inherited from their nigga-ass siblings and parents, which is something that needs to stop. How are you 10-11 years old, born in the 2000s, and really know who the fuck Jordan really is? Now when this happened, and I heard about a young man getting killed, people getting trampled, and more importantly another incident occurring that black people are providing entertainment for white people, I got extremely angry at MJ. How dare he do the things that powerful white men before him have done and found success in? How dare he exploit consumers by employing simple, effective capitalist principles like supply and demand? How dare he exploit his own people in such a way? But then, I turned the finger and pointed it right back on me, because I knew I was being a hater. Jordan is not your dad. He doesn't even know you. Some abstract connection based on the fact that the two of you are the same color skin means far less to him than the fact that his and your money is the same color. And that's how it's always been. And ultimately, I think that's what it comes down to. Jordan doesn't owe you shit, he's not your dad. The cold reality is, many of the people out there don't have dads. So you look to these nigga celebrities to know how to be.
Stuntin' like his daddy. Whoever that may be...
When Obama won the presidency, niggas really thought they did something. "Yes We Can." When really its "Yes I Did, you niggas barely made it to the polls that day." You feel camaraderie that's perhaps so deeply ingrained in race, that you will look to everyone around you to learn how to be, even if the environment itself is negative. If that rings true in black neighborhoods, which it does, and we've got a new generation of niglets already killing each other over some shoes from a guy who stopped winning titles before they were even born, we're fucked. It's the culture. Jordan's basketball career no longer has any effect on his shoe sales, because nigga kids have no inkling of who he is, but yet are still craving these shoes.
START 'EM EARLY
Naturally, I'm a bastard for not feeling any sympathy towards the people who got hurt or even killed in pursuit of a $200 shoe. We are trained by society to feel bad and not laugh when stupid people get fucked up doing stupid things, like that pretty white girl who walked into a spinning propeller, we're not supposed to laugh at that. We're not supposed to laugh at that, we're not...ok, I just had to convince myself to stop giggling. Truth is, not a tear is shed and not a fuck is given about stupid people who get hurt doing vain shit. Stop bullshitting me with the sob stories, like "my kids need these shoes. Why would anyone take shoes from a child?" Your kids need food. They need education. And if it were up to me, they'd need foster custody. If you spend $200 on a shoe for your kid, don't bullshit and say its for them. It's really for you. No, you're not wearing them. But it's vanity. Putting your kids in things like Jordans, is a status gain. You look richer than you are, for one, and two, at least to fellow niggas, you somehow look like a good parent. Because you buy shit. What that tells me is that you have no real connection with your child, and its still all about you. It's like what the great Katt Williams said about Christmas shopping for his son. You can either spend $100 on one really nice, really excessive toy, or you can make a pimpin' decision and go to the Dollar Store and buy 100 toys. Which one do you think a little kid's gonna be most excited about? Though I have no sympathy for the people who went to great lengths to get these shoes, that doesn't mean I don't carry a heavy weight in my heart for my fallen brethren. You niggas truly know not what you do, and are the reason I even write this blog. I will reach you niggas, someday, and hopefully soon, because God knows we need it. Until next time.
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