Thursday, January 5, 2012

ROAST of the week: Cop gets sued for having no game

So, a cop gave this woman $132 speeding ticket, then looked up her address on the police database, found her house, and left a note asking her out, in probably the most awkward, stalker-ish way possible.  The woman responded with not only a 'fuck no,' she took it even further and bitchslapped him with a lawsuit.  Look at what he said:

"It's Chris … that ugly bald Stickney cop who gave you that ticket. … I know this may seem crazy and you're probably right, but truth is I have not stopped thinking about you since. I don't expect a girl as attractive as you to … even go for a guy like me, but I'm taking a shot anyways. "


Now, obviously, the cop saw Bridesmaids, where this cop asks the woman out after dropping the ticket he was going to give her (which means the dummy didn't even get the movie right), but he left a note, and a creepy one at that.  Which brings me to my first point:

The results are in:  the opening pick-up line "Hey, let's fuck," has now reached a higher approval rating than "I've been watching you all night and..."  Not that I'm saying the first one works (all the time), but damn, leaving a note at somebody's house who doesn't know you is probably the weakest shit I've ever heard.  That's about as weak as when Roy Williams sent a ring to his Miss Texas girlfriend--and $76,000--asking her to marry him.  She said no, and was initially hesitant to even give back the ring.  Personally, I thought she should've kept the ring.  That bad press in itself wasn't punishment enough.


 Trick of the Year 2011: Roy Williams, looking baffled

Seriously, if you have no game, women should have the right to put you way on blast.  The dude gave her a ticket in the first place, then tried to trick for some dinner.  She not only said no, but probably wrecked his little self esteem for life with that lawsuit.  This isn't just rejection, which he would've gotten if he had the balls to ask her in person, it's national news, and will probably cause a bit of a sensation.  Now the whole country will know you have no game.   

My last point: fellas.  Stop this lil' dick nonsense of Facebook messaging, poking, leaving notes, having somebody else talk to the girl for you, and whatever other wimp things you can think of.  The answer will always be no.

   Logical.







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